Get Ready, Today People Are Pretending They Listened to BB King

lutherfeatureAnd off to the races we go!

This morning B.B. King died. For most of us, this experience marked us saying “shit, was that dude still alive?” But no matter, that didn’t stop the herds of folks taking to social media pretending that they somehow listened to B.B. King on the daily.

Here’s a fact: Most of you assholes had no idea he was even alive at all. I bet your iTunes’ accounts had no B.B. King, instead, lot’s of Taylor Swift and Cake.

When someone dies, there is this mad rush to grab as much social media attention as possible, so people don’t even think, they just post.

Oh look, a fat black man sitting in a rocking chair strumming a guitar has died…quick, let me super post this story and pretend I listened to him on all the time!

I seriously doubt anyone’s Spotify mixes are ruined this morning.¬†Pretty much none of you legit listen to Blues unless David Guetta claims it’s mixed in somewhere and that pretty much counts as an accident on your part. Unless The Real Housewives starts with a blues intro, that culture has passed you by faster than an inmate with a stolen NASCAR car.

Some of you posted “worst news on a Friday, BB King has died : (”

Someone should seriously shit in your mouth. You don’t have to be a part of every damn story out there.

The formula, however, is simple:

Did someone die?


Was that person popular EVER?


Was this person involved with any super cultural shit?


Solution: You must post. And post with fury.

The Internet sucks.