You Probably Have Ebola. Go Ahead And Kill Yourself.



Pretty much every other news story right now involves this Ebola Breakout. If you listen to these smiling news assholes, we are like a shade away from living in a tent with Daryl Dixon and Rick Grimes fighting off Zombies with a crossbow.

Wanna know what’s really F’d up? I don’t know one person with Ebola. I’ve yet to invite a friend to go out to the bar with me and had them say “ah dude, I would but this f’ing ebola is killing my shit. I need to stay in and drink water.” Nope. No one in my Facebook feed has updated their status with “Feeling Ebola Today : (“….

Can someone explain who actually has ebola? Someone has to have it that I know. I mean, right? Why the F’ would it be cluttering up all news stations? I saw a story the other day breaking down how I should know if I actually get ebola, as if it were a common cold. I almost want ebola at this point just so I can feel like all this ebola coverage isn’t for nothing! Is there like a can of ebola juice I can drink somewhere? Lets get it on.