Stop Saying Polar Vortex Immediately. It’s Just Dumb.



I feel like punching people when they say things like “OMG a polar vortex is coming” and “getting prepared for the polar vortex.” But I can’t, because that’s illegal. But one can dream. A Polar Vortex is basically the same Cold Front we’ve been having for infinite years, but this time it’s gluten free. And we know how that goes…

It’s hard to understand how people can be this dense. But that’s what it has come to. I am sure you have someone in your newsfeed spreading fear mongering about what basically amounts to a glorified cold front.

Look at this Accuweather map showing people a “Cold Front.”


Um, what the hell? It’s really cold air. It’s Winter. You live in Chicago. Who would think this could possibly happen? Oh wait, anyone who actually lives in Chicago in January.

Look at this one.


This is the AccuWeather graphic being spread around the Internet today relating to this week’s “Cold Front.” You wouldn’t know it though, because it looks like an ESPN graphic describing a boxer punching someone in their face. Basically everyone’s been dished out a direct shot of stupid.

I love that we just reinvented Winter. You can’t deny how beautiful that idea is, you really can’t.