This Shit With Standing Desks Seriously Needs To Stop…

It wasn’t that long ago that I walked into an office and saw one of my cube mates sitting on a bosu ball while working. He was trying to type, but mostly his fat ass was trying to not fall down. I ended up slapping the shit out of him and knocking him down. He took his ball home and never came back.

After that, I thought surely, I’d won the war against desk chair stupidity. But apparently, it was just the beginning.

Now we have goddamn standing desk. Yep, people can buy a contraption that allows them the opportunity to stand up while working. I can 100% assure you that these damn contraptions are also available in gluten-free vegan wood.

When did you assclowns stop hating chairs? Chairs are fucking amazing. Whoever invented the chair deserves supermodel vagina at least once a week, if not more. Chairs are comfortable. Chairs allow you to both work, as well as fall the fuck to sleep. Many chairs are on swivels, so you can spin around in them until you are super dizzy and sick. You can raise them, lower them, smoke pot in them and watch pornography in them. Chairs dominate.

But along comes a bunch of clowns who have decided that chairs are evil. THIS “study” says sitting is bad and THAT “study” says standing increases dick size. If you really want to know what is good or bad for your body, why don’t you ask it? Sit down in a chair. How does it feel? Pretty fucking good, eh? Now stand up and start typing. How does that feel? Like a hot iron rod being shoved inside of your ass? This shit is kinda remedial, my friends.

Seriously, look at this shit.

Even dogs are like “you fucking assholes..”


This girl is no doubt searching for the perfect Vape.


Holy shit, are these fucknuts standing on balancing balls while “working?”



standingdesk6What kind of sweatshop have our schools become? This is fucking America, not some third world bullshit.