Interview with a Texan

Dear Douchemaster,

Does the ability to see these people’s reflections prove that I am just being paranoid?

I would never rule out Folkloric explanations here, but I can tell you confidently that the douche in the green glasses could not make his survival by shanking humans and then feeding from their blood. But then there was the Vampire Louis from Interview With a Vampire, he was a pussy Vampire that fed on rats for a while and all the other vampires made fun of him. But in real life he was also Brad Pitt, which this douche is not. So as you can see, my critical thinking lends us to believe that these folks are nothing more than a band of douches that purchased really sh!&&y ecstasy from a black guy wearing a pimp hat that also had oranges and Dallas Cowboy tickets available.

Always go with the oranges, folks..