Don’t look now, but Netflix Bloodline Doesn’t suck balls anymore.

No spoilers, just the basics.

When I first started watching the Netflix series, Bloodline, I quit after episode six. The show pretty much pissed me off immediately. It spent a lot of time flashing back and trying to set you up with a plotline and narrative. After episode six, I honestly felt like when the plumber is having too long a conversation with the small blonde single mother who can’t afford plumbing repairs but can afford silicon breast; so I have to fast forward to the anal.

But since finishing season two, the shit has totally redeemed itself.

The plot:

The most important part of the plot is that it takes place in Florida. Florida is the same place that a man ingested bath salts and ate another man’s face and had to be shot like 900 times to die. There is no excuse on earth that a writer should fuck up a Florida plotline. However, early on, it sure seems that way.

The main stars are Kyle Chandler (that guy you know from the show, Friday Night Lights, even though you never saw it), Linda Cardellini (It will take you 5 episodes before you figure out she was in Freaks and Geeks and I guess ER), Jacinda Barrett (the tall broad from MTV’s Real World London, which immediately makes you want to turn the shit off, but don’t) and Sissy Spacek (LEGIT AS FUCK THIS BITCH IS AWESOME), and some guy named Ben Mendelson who I have no idea anything about.

The story basically starts decades ago as a flashback. Danny Rayburn (Ben Mendelsohn) takes his sister out on a boat, and it turns out she isn’t a good swimmer, so she drowns. The dad ends up hating Danny. The mom (Spacek) and brother, John (Chandler), end up feeling sorry for Danny.

Danny’s life turns into this catastrophe (or extended Vegas trip for some of us) as he ends up doing a lot of blow and banging low-grade hooker type broads. He also pisses off the sister attorney, Meg (Cardellini), which creates all kinds of bullshit.

Summary: Danny accidentally kills sister. The family gets mad. Danny does blow with cheap trailer park vagina. Family gets more mad.

The issue: The first few episodes deploy the whole flashback thing ad nauseam. It’s sort of how when you first started watching Lost, and you were like “this is badass” and then it was like “fuck, not another flashback, let’s go back to the creepy ass island with the hot bitch named Kate! No one cares about Jin-Soo in Tokyo or whatever we can’t even understand him!” Also, you will want the Real World broad to die as she becomes super annoying.

Conclusion: Right around episode 8, the bullshit stops and things get pretty freaking awesome. This might be the new Breaking Bad. I am not gonna give away things, but John Leguizamo being in season two is basically the equivalent of Peter Pan being played by The Rock and beating up the person who created the yellow versions of Starburst.