3:30 a.m. on Friday morning, Sgt. Pat Harden found Brian Chellis, who was donning the Elf On The Shelf costume, in a New Jersey Target parking lot passed out drunk. I really want to know why this dude was even dressed like this, I mean this isn’t F’ing halloween, its Christmas, so it makes no sense to me at all. I get being dressed as Santa, but as the Elf on the Shelf? WTF? It makes no real sense. And this leads me to believe that Chellis got wasted BEFORE getting dressed like this and then decided to go to Target and creep people the F’ out. Because the story only makes sense like this. No way any other version of this story makes a smidgen of sense.
I get wanted to be wasted over the holidays. And I get wanting to go to Target, I love that freaking store. Just don’t drive folks. Keep it clean out there. Brian was arrested, but had he not been, my guess is some unlucky prostitute would have gotten a “small” surprise come the wee hours of the night….