Homeless man doesn’t understand how Subway works. Facebook erupts.

So the story is this: Some broad was working at Subway, bought a homeless guy a sandwich, manager got pissed off at her while she was like sweeping bread crumbs up because she paid for the homeless dude’s sub, she then quit. It gets really hot in Arizona.


Now its being shared all over Facebook. So lets look closer, shall we.

BRENDA: How very sad – this was posted on my FB page. The manager, somewhere near Chandler, AZ should have been fired.

First off Brenda, please shut the f#$k up. You have no idea if its even true. Stop trying to get managers at Subway fired. Please log off of Facebook before Michael Strahan shows up at your apartment and urinates in your goldfish vase.

FORMER SUBWAYER: I used to work at Subway a couple months ago, but I quit. And what made me quit was one time a homeless man came in to get a sandwich. He asked if the sandwich would be more than $10.

Ok, ok, we have our first sign that this story doesn’t add up to be the sad anectdote that this former subwayer would have us believe. I ask you, how the f$%k would anyone not know that a subway sandwhich is $5???? That sh$$ty jingle is in my head 50% of the day. I don’t care if you are homeless, how could you miss that? So if you are homeless, you think subway sandwiches are more than $10??? I guess this Homeless guy is used to eating out at find dining sandwich places in Scottsdale. Good on him.

FORMER SUBWAYER: When he got down to the register, he was searching frantically for his money, and with such shame on his face he said he couldn’t find it and started to leave.

So I don’t get it, he didn’t know if he had $5 before he came in to buy a $9 subway sandwich? Michael Phelps just pee’d the pool, it was all for nothing!

FORMER SUBWAYER: But I called out to him and said I would pay for it. I got my credit card and paid for an entire meal for this man, with no discounts.

I really doubt he expected you to call out and pay for it. That was never a part of his marketing plan. Not at all. He originally came in to buy a FIVE DOLLAR, FIVE DOLLAR, FIVE DOLLAR FOOT LONG! for just $10. And I like how you didn’t have cash either. You sound homeless. I’m ashamed.

FORMER SUBWAYER: He thanked me over and over. Then when the next person in line got to the register she told me how nice of thing I did.

Nice way to validate yourself by convincing us that “other people” mistaked you for Oprah building African kids schools and sh$t.

FORMER SUBWAYER: Now when everyone left I was in the back cleaning and my manager yelled at me. Telling me that if someone can’t pay for their food you tell them to leave. I told her that I wasn’t going to let him starve. It was 115 degrees outside. He was probably exhausted, dehydrated and very hungry.

Did you buy him water also? I don’t know about you, but the last thing on my mind when I am really thirsty is salty a$$ bread and processed meats. What does the heat have to do with starvation? Like, had it been a nice Fall day, you’d have just let this guy rot away? I mean, no better time to starve than in the Fall. Because its so pretty. If you feel you are starving and dying, just go on a foliage tour.

FORMER SUBWAYER: I was so baffled about the fact that I just got in trouble for helping someone in need. I was being constantly told by owners and supervisors of the company that this was a business about people and making people happy. But I guess the homeless aren’t people. So I quit a week later.

Subway is in the business of selling sh$tty sandwiches to people. They help people, when people have $5 on them. Subway is in the business of helping fat people get fatter. And homeless people are only people when its summertime in the Arizona desert. Apparently.