Chicago Douche Broads

Dear Douchemaster,

I live in Chicago and I hate it. I hate it like ringworm on my penis. No one can understand why, so I thought I’d send some of my favorite pictures which justify my feelings.


Whoa. Isn’t that herpes? Nevermind. Lets do this.


This is an epic fake lesbian fail. Straight girls have got to just absolutely stop trying to pretend they have any lez at all. This picture is a complete mess. I’d move based on this alone, but lets keep going…

Again with the fake lesbian stuff, look at her sticking her tongue out around the cake. And yes, I am talking about him. I am calling him a her. And I am a major germaphobe so F’ you asshole. That’s a solid cake, stop drooling on it bro!



I got nothing. Terrible dress. But whatever…..sorry, my red-blooded American Manhood doesn’t allow me to hate on this..