5 Annoying Vaping Douchebags To Look Out For

Vaping is now overran by douchebags at pretty much the highest level possible.

Here are the ones you should look out for.

The Facebook Profile Picture Is Blowing “A Cloud” Vaper


When guys do shirtless selfies and make it their profile picture its incredibly douchey. When broads do that weird angled, nightclub, foggy selfie and make it their profile picture its similarly douchey. But when a vaper blows a cloud into a camera and makes it their profile picture, we aren’t supposed to think the same thing? Vapers need to take a page from the potheads. Potheads have been around for decades and they aren’t blowing smoke into a profile picture.

The Hang Out At Vape Shops Vaper


Again, the actual product of the ecig is fine by me. But if you’ve never been in a vape shop, get fucking ready, it is douchebag central. Its a bunch of bros “blowing clouds” talking about “building coils” and “tanks” and “cherry flavored skittles.” The place smells like spoiled cheesecake. There are usually used and torn couches and a wobbly coffee table setup which resemble a college dorm room. And there is typically a candy machine. Who still eats candy? I get it, you need a store to sell merchandise. That makes total sense. So just walk in, buy your shit, maybe get a receipt, get out. I buy plants for my wife at Wal Mart sometimes, but I don’t hang out in the plant section on a couch fucking talking about it for hours. I just buy that shit and get out.

The Anti Big Tobacco Vaper


You’d think some of these vapers were Rosa Parks sitting in the front seat of the bus the way they talk about vaping and big tobacco. Hey, good on you for stopping tobacco, but don’t pretend you are winning the war against big tobacco when you’re becoming its number one pawns.  Big tobacco will own you all. They will own your vape shop candy machines, your vape shop shitty couches, your vape shop wobbly coffee tables, your hipster bearded vape shop cashier.

The “I Build My Own Coils” Vape Guy


Rebuild a car’s transmission, you’re a bad ass. Build a house, your a bad ass. Building something with scissors and cotton, you’re a high school home economics star (at best). Again, cool product, but stop making it out to be more than it is. Who the hell wants to brag about being a vape hobbyist to this degree? Of the thousands upon thousands of hobbies you could have taken up, you are going to build out vape coils?

The I Belong To The Vaping Sub-Reddit Vaper


Reddit is awesome. It is literally the gateway to the Internet. You can get help quitting the booze, you can learn to rebuild a computer, you can find out if the North Koreans actually photoshopped a picture of a tank invading Fiji, you can help fund a new invention to help heart attack victims…but you chose to chat about strawberry pie clouds all day. Seriously, am I really out of line here? I don’t want to tell anyone how to spend their time, but come on man! How much can there possibly be to talk about here?