You’re Not An Introvert If You Tell Everyone You Are An Introvert

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selfie photoThe latest craze on Facebook is to share articles about Introverts. The struggle for them. The misunderstanding by the rest of us. The top 5 things every extrovert should know about introverts AND 6 ways introverts can be more powerful  AND 6 reasons introverts make the best employees. I never knew a group of people could be so enlightened until I met people with social phobias posting about having a social phobia on the worlds larges social media forum, Facebook.

Introverts, who originally were just shy people, are now people that are apparently drained by social encounters and energized by isolation, which they go on public social media spaces to tell everyone about. Because that makes total fucking sense. Or course it does!

There is even a Ted Talk being given by an “introvert” about the “power of being an introvert.” Again A TED TALK IN FRONT OF PEOPLE ABOUT BEING AN INTROVERT. Seriously?

First off, you aren’t an introvert, you are shy. And secondly, no one gives a shit. Being shy doesn’t somehow make you more intuitive to your surroundings. And third, you aren’t shy if you are posting on public forums that you are an introvert, or standing in front of audiences babbling on about being an introvert, or writing articles for Forbes that you are an introvert. The essential element of being an “introvert” is shutting the fuck up. Telling everyone that you are an introvert all day means you are actually just an asshole looking to get attention.

There is nothing wrong with being shy, but you having to post articles about all these reasons why being shy is better makes you not shy. And it makes you stupid and hypocritical. And you probably smell bad.

Don’t want to talk to people? I get it. I hate most all of you. But I don’t need to post the reasons being an introvert is better than being an extrovert. Because I extrovert some hate all the time.

But now for the final curtain call. There is a Facebook page called Introverts are Awesome. This is actually serious. The page posts bullshit sappy, self-loathing shit all day from people who are apparently scared to walk up to other people and talk, or post a status update that’s happy, but aren’t “too introverted” to share the sappy shit all over my newsfeed.

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Introverts correcting grammar on their own damn sap messages. What is your “introverted self?” The self that goes around correcting grammar on meaningless memes?

Oh, but wait, here’s a real tear jerker…

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Seriously? How fucking self-loathing are you people? You aren’t introverts, you are pussies.

How bad does life have to be that you decide to join a fucking group that cries all day about who you think you are? People, stop joining groups. Stop being pussies. Problem solved. How hard is it for you people to do what the rest of us do and just post untrue great shit about your lives all day? This isn’t complicated.