Ringing in Veterans Day the honorable way. Here are some pictures.
I’m not sure I get what’s happening in this picture.
So is that cowboy hat like floating magically in the club or is there a douchebag wearing a cowboy hat to a club in Vegas? I feel like I need to know what’s going on here.
Dear Douchemaster,
Do you think this is like some blue screen at Disney Land?
I think it has to be real, because only mothernature could actually be capably of pinning back a ‘fro like that. And no matter what he may be sucking later, we are all kinda sucking his wake in this incredible picture. The only thing that could make this picture better would be one of those fruit juices you punch the mini straw through in his hand. Then it would really be bad ass.
Dear Douchemaster,
Did this douchebag make his chick hold his drink so he could douche out for the photog?
All assumptions aside, for sure the empty drink is hers, because she would have to be pounding drinks in order to endure this douchebag for a night at the club.
Dear Douchemaster,
Which item do you think is the heaviest, the curl bar, the champagne, this bro’s head?
His stomach looks like the traingle of death. I feel like any minute the spawn of Awesome will rip out of that triangle and take over the world at any moment.
Dear Douchemaster,
What are some quick ways to loosen a chandelier so that it falls in a “timely” manner?
I’m no expert, but I did sleep with a Holiday Inn maid last night. So I’d say conveniently place the bros Axe Spray on top of the chandelier and let the transfer of weight do its thang.
Dear Douchemaster,
I found this picture while looking for fashionable examples of winter coats I want to buy.
Just kidding.
The coat looks warm. Accentuating the Chihuahua fur with a steaming mad Rotweiler’s ferociousness is pretty hard also. Live free and hard, kids.
Dear Douchemaster,
How much wrath do you think the near bro gave his other bros when he found out he’d been cut out of the bro picture?
I bet there was lots of “come on bro” and “bro what the hell” and potentially Versace sport coat chokes applied.
One of its most famous residents was hosting a Halloween party in Vegas. Rock on.
JWOW. Party Starter. Potentially homeless.
Accroding to MTV News.
“lost for words right now.” She added that “Bubbas and lucky arcade are no more but the shore store is standing but major damage.”
Here’s some straight douchery from her Halloween bash at Chateau Nightclubs & Gardens.
Halloween is seriously only for chicks.
Seriously.
Don’t f#cking yell at me, Douchebag…lets go through this again, listen carefully.
This IS what Halloween is for.
Got it?
Ok, now lets look at what its NOT for.
Absolutely horrible.
Surely you have already heard by now, the “largest storm of all time” is currently heading up the ocean to destroy the East Coast, which includes cities such as Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington D.C., and New York City. Do you know what those cities have in common?
They’ve all been around since like the 16th century. But no matter, as of this Tuesday, according to all the media, weathermen, newschicks, CNN, Foxnews, the shitty Baltimore Sun, all of these cities will be completely eradicated. They’ve been through wars which resulted in our Independence and the end of slavery, but in all those years, no storm like Hurricane Sandy has ever summoned them to death’s door.
Until now.
I just have a tough time feeling the vibe with all this, in all the years these cities have been around, this is the first time a big storm hit? F$ck that, ask George Clooney and I bet you get a different answer. Where the f$ck is Clooney on this? I will tell you where, he’s chillaxin in a Vegas suite with a Ghost Bar waitress just laughing at Hurricane Sandy. That’s what he is doing.
Why does everything have to be the “worst ever?” Philadelphia like has a statue of Rocky and Benjamin Franklin, two of the most historically American motherf#ckers ever; I doubt any storm can f$ck with that shit. Its like the media grips on to some story and doesn’t let go. And yes, I get it, this Hurricane sucks, I don’t want a bunch of Haitians showing up at my door with baseball bats or anything, I get it.
But maybe we all just calm down for like a second here? This is America, Rocky ain’t havin’ this shit. No way, no how. So now everyone take a chill pill.