You probably already know that a lion was killed in Africa. It was killed by a Dentist who spent money like a newly signed rapper at a car dealership. Lets cut the shit here, folks, this guy is a fucking assclown at level 12. And more into question is his inability to experience the same kind of human compassion most would if they shot a damn animal in close range with an arrow for what seems like no reason. But he is a Dentist, so maybe there is that sociopathic “I’m jabbing your gums with a sharp prod while drilling mercury into your teeth” thing and “I don’t care if you are crying” thing going on. I don’t know. I really just don’t know. And to preface, I eat meat. I try to choose wisely by spending more money on ethically treated animals. That’s that.
Now lets get on with this.
The only thing I can think of worse than a Dentist in general is, well, the overtly pathetic outrage that’s been the response to the lion being shot. The Facebook heroes are out in full force today. So let’s have a closer look.
You’re Animal Racist
I keep seeing the “how could you kill a beautiful animal.” This has to be some kind of a joke, right? So that’s how this shit works now? If the animal is subjectively beautiful, we should protect it from the harm, torture and dire exploitation that our world consistently offers to animals. Did I get that right? We shit on animals on a second-by-second basis. But that’s now OK in the sense that it can be justified by how we subjectively view an animal? How much influence would say, Disney, have to now do with which animals are decidedly tortured and which aren’t?
A Lack Of Extinction Doesn’t Justify Meaningless Killing
I keep seeing you people justifying your outrage because the lion is on the extinction list. Is it even on that list? Have you checked?
Well, I have a few thoughts. The first is, fuck you. Tell me when you ever gave a shit about lions becoming (maybe) extinct? Seriously, if you would have taken 3 damn pennies a day for the past 3 years and donated it to saving lion causes, you’d have done a hell of a lot more for lions than you have calling for a Dentist to be – imprisoned for life, fed to lions, murdered, tortured – over the killing of 1 lion.
Dear prick, visit this link and start donating! I know, it will be difficult for you to step away from Facebook where you’ve enjoyed chest bowing your status updates and comments on articles, but this is the right thing to do. And when I say “right thing,” I actually mean doing anything BUT bitching like a sad vagina. They take credit cards and Paypal and you can even mail your personal checks!
Next, to justify the protection of an animal from torture, exploitation or killing because it is going (maybe) extinct is ridiculous. It passes no logic test at all. So should this Dentist have shot an Raccoon at close range instead? Would that have been OK by you Facebook warriors? If you want to help a cause to save animals on the extinction list, go for it, but that’s pretty exclusive to the idea that it somehow should distribute the means of basic protection all animals should share. Basically, you’re probably an asshole who has never actually attempted to save an animal but this opportunity to flex your Facebook attention whoring mouth was just too much to pass up.
If You Eat Most Cheap Meats, You’re Worse Than The Dentist
I know, you assclowns were prepared for this one. I’m sure I’ll hear all about how I “don’t understand” in the comments and that this “isn’t the same at all.” Let’s start with the chickens. I know, Disney doesn’t have a popular chicken character (at least not one I know of). If you think that shooting a lion at close range is worse than the absolute atrocities committed at factory chicken farms, you have lost touch with reality.
But wait, I know, you EAT it, so therefore it is fine!
No. You overeat. You don’t survive. The idea that people need this incredible amount of animal protein on a daily basis is ridiculous. You do it because you are an asshole pig. You don’t need to eat this much chicken. And certainly you NEVER need to eat chicken from mid-level grocery stores (yep, anywhere BUT MAYBE Whole Foods pretty much). Why aren’t you up in arms over this matter? Wait, that’s rhetorical, I know the answer: It’s because you don’t want to be inconvenienced. Not eating chicken is well, a super huge inconvenience. Let’s be honest, if the cause is asking you to do more than post a diatribe on Facebook, you’re out. Let’s all get together at Buffalo Wild Wings this weekend and cry about the dead lion while having $1 beers and 15 baskets of fried wings!
People saying they eat it and it’s justifiable are largely dumbasses. You aren’t living in a cabin, shooting rabbits and squirrels to feed your kids. You aren’t “surviving.” You’re eating mostly for pleasure and fatness. A country of fat people trying to protect one lion while torturing, slaughtering chickens, and pretending they are somehow the righteous, is a complete joke and shows a total lack of attachment to anything reality based. Unless you are getting your chicken from local farms, YOU contribute way more to the issue than the dentist did. But hey, I wouldn’t want anyone to have to sacrifice their Ralph’s discount for the sake of, say, a few ugly chickens…
And, hey, they aren’t going (maybe) extinct either so it’s a huge win! Torture chickens and…YOU save money. YOU eat MORE. YOU don’t have to do anything at all.
What Are You Wearing?
I’m not even going to explore the stupidity here. Dumb bitches on Facebook posting about the lion after posting about leather handbags and nail polish that’s animal tested is a joke.
What About The Dogs?
People shit on dogs. Dogs have Disney eyes. Come on, none of you have the neighbor or friend that crates their dog all day? Where are you in this? Lots of big talk about killing a Dentist. Some of you have said you’d personally kick his ass if you ran into him on the street.
Well, guess what, I have the BEST FUCKING NEWS EVER! I know tons of places you can go to find dogs that are being shit on by people. These are the easiest people in the world to find. So do your stretches bitches, because you have a lot of “ass kicking” to do! Finally, you can get up from Facebook and get out there and kick some fucking ass and make us all proud!.