Its The Weekend Douches, Drink Up.

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Damn straight bro, lets get this party started. Imma get some purple drank and rock out with my cock out. I’m just kidding (about the cock part that is). I love me some purple drank, folks. Its the juice of champions. its like gatorade but not pussy. Its like drinking water that is actually jet fuel.

Happy Weekend Bros.

Selfie Horror

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Dear Douchemaster,

Is this the worst selfie ever taken? I mean like EVER taken? Holy shit its so bad.

I think his tongue might well be rotting out of his mouth. His nostrils look like the entry tunnels to The Inferno. Its bad. Worst? Its got potential my friend. This was just a horrible selfie mistake. I am not even sure how this happens.

Hot Broad DJ Still A DJ.

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Oh man, sorry, but even cute girls who DJ can still make our list for DJ Douches and this is no exception to the matter, but thanks for stopping by and saying hi to us here. Lets check out the bros rockin’ out to your set.

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She wears here sunglasses at night so she can so she can….

 

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Impressive. Not gonna hate.

Bro Hand Is Awesome

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Holy hell, this bro has the largest hand I have ever seen. Is this some type of camera angle issue or trick? Christ, I can totally see why these broads are hanging out with him because if his bro hand is this big then you know his bro piece is probably enormous….I mean he can handle like two enormous fake boobs in one palm. Epic.

Vegas Bro is magician

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Holy Crap douches and bros and broads, calm down. Can’t we all just get along? Wait, that’s not relevant. I feel like eating breast today for lunch. CHICKEN BREAST FOLKS! Jesus. This guy is bad ass. Thanks for stopping by.

Check out the bro dressed as a magician.

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Does this bro have a rabbit in his pocket? I wonder if he pulls coins from the broads ears to get them to go home and have some magical intercourse?

UConn Bros win Douche National Title.

 Dear Douchemaster,

What you are about to see is incredibly disturbing. While the UConn Huskies were busy winning a National Title in Basketball, their fans were busy winning a motherf’ing National Douche title. Seriously, what the hell?

 

Why the banadanas? And is this bro pointing to the sky or trying to say that his Huskies are number 1? I mean how does one screw up the number 1?

 

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I don’t get this. Is he the UConn Devil Douche? And does she have lightening painted on her face? Oh wait, look at the bro in the background with the ice castle on his head. I don’t get it, who are they rooting for? The evil queen in Snow White?
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I think this bro just shit his pants. He’s so damn excited he literally shit his pants. Are those beanies these douches are wearing?
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Of course there would be a bro in a cowboy hat. Of course there would…..

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This is some severe douche and bro activity. We may just need to send a lone reporter to cover all UConn sporting events in the future, seems it would be a worthy investment.

 

Sunday Doucheday

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Dear Douchemaster,

Nothing like a little Hot Chicks With Douchebags. Since summer is coming up I figured it was time to take a close look at what we should expect over a long hot summer from some of the douche nation we have learned to love so much.

I think its going to be a brutal douche summer because all these glowing bodied frizzy hair’d douches have been locked up due to such a tough winter. There is only so long you can keep the douches of summer down and they’ve been down for much too much time so I expect they come out this summer with the ferocity of an atomic bomb. I don’t even know if the site can handle the type of energy we are going to see from all these bros.

DoucheAgram beauty

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Dear Douchemaster,

These doucheAgrams are without question a thing of great artistic beauty. Look at the way these douchebags are captured on camera, the retro inspired images, it reminds me of a modern day Anne Getty. And its almost the same a baby pictures but even more infantile.

Is Anne Getty really at a point to where we’d reference any predecessor as “modern day?” I mean she still takes pictures, right? She’s not like Ted Williams. Anyways, yeah, these pictures really do a great retro job of capturing the essence of a douchebag. These are from an Austin nightclub I believe. This Austin photographer really needs to win multiple photography awards and be considered for a Noble Prize.

Bro Hair

hairDear Douchemaster,

I think this bro has been on before but his hair can really not ever be on this site enough. This is phenomenal, I mean this is seriously a genetic miracle.

This bro is toasting to solid hair, no doubt about it. And yes he has been on the site before, this maybe even the same picture but for now its allowed. But it is important to note that typically this site has very stern journalistic rules. I feel like these two might even be related, look at their eyes. Or maybe they are the same person. Oh God, I am creeping myself out. Maybe this is where the key to unlocking the genetic miracle lays?

 

Bro Off

 

Dear Douchemaster,

Which bros do you think would win in a knife fight?

These bros?

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Or these bros?

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Whoa!

This is a tough question. I feel like this is Final Jeopardy, same kind of stress, but let me give it a shot. That bro up in the first picture in the blue shirt is pretty hard; but he’d probably have to take on the bro in the second picture who is about to bite off the top of his beer bottle. Seriously, look at him, I think he’s about to eat his beer bottle. Solid, dawg.